Everyone in your dating life is wanting you to fail, except the people who benefit from you winning romantically. Those people NEED you to win. Not that they necessarily share your exact relationship goals, but everyone needs an icon—someone whose love story represents something they're secretly invested in. In some cases that benefit is material, like status, social proof, money, or lifestyle access through your success. In other cases it's emotional

And not that they can give you advice either. If they do it's probably going to be shitty advice. Advice should be taken only from people who A) have achieved the kind of relationship you want and B) genuinely want you to succeed. In dating, seek couples thriving long-term, mentors who've built strong partnerships, or friends who've overcome their own romantic hurdles. Their results are your blueprint. True allies celebrate your romantic wins, not your endless dating struggles.

A roadmap to romantic success is to build a group of people who need you to win. A group who benefits from you making it in love, be it because they believe in your growth or their share comes from yours. In dating, that means mentors celebrating your standards, wingmen thriving when you succeed, friends wanting the best for you, or couples proving healthy relationships exist. Surround yourself with people whose lives improve when you stop playing small and start showing up powerfully in love.

If it's not your dad nor your sisters, family and friends backing your love life, well too bad. Fuck it. Leave and get a new circle. Form a new tribe. In dating, loyalty comes from alignment, not blood. You need people who clap when you set boundaries, drop toxic partners, raise standards instead of shrinking to stay relatable. If your current crowd needs you single, broken, or complaining to feel superior, walk away.